


There are Better Things to do Than Trick or Treat

by ChasetheSun2



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Breaking and Entering, Demon Sex, Demon Summoning, Halloween, Implied the demon is the Psiioniic, Implied/Referenced Sex, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, miniswap 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 13:45:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16430540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasetheSun2/pseuds/ChasetheSun2
Summary: In which Damara is thirsty for some demonic attention, Mituna's just here for a good time, and Kankri wishes he wasn't here at all.





	There are Better Things to do Than Trick or Treat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GlassesBlu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassesBlu/gifts).



"Remind me again why we're doing this?"

"Shhh."

"But-"

" _Shut up!_ "

Damara shushed Kankri for the third time that night as her fingers fumbled with her hairpin. It was cold as fuck and her hands were shaking trying to pick the lock, and Kankri's yammering about laws and morality were not helping her situation in the slightest. Thankfully, he seemed to have taken to looking around instead and blathering on about something else. There was a jitter to his words as he spoke, hugging himself tightly and staring at the dark, overgrown lawn around them as if something might jump out at any second.

"Where's Mituna?" He asked in a hushed whisper, as if there would actually be someone around here at this time of night. "He should have been here by now - not that I haven't given up my stance that this is _highly illegal_ , but nevertheless he should be at the very least _punctual_ about things--"

"Shut up and let me concentrate!"

The lock clicked and the door swung open. Damara's eyes lit up. Kankri's face fell.

"Come on." Damara grabbed his hand and tugged him inside. He stumbled over the warped threshold, fighting to stay on even footing for several moments before finally managing to right himself. When he did, he found himself at Damara's side, both of them staring in awe - and in Kankri's case, a little bit of fear.

The house they'd broken into was massive, of course, inside and out. Well over three centuries old and the architecture showed it. It was strangely well-maintained, elaborate and elegant, with the only damage being a thick layer of dust over the whole main hall. Kankri couldn't help but think that it was beautiful, if not utterly terrifying, with the rows of portraits of former owners ascending along the stairs to the second floor balcony like a row of silent witnesses to the crime they'd just committed - and the crime they were about to commit.

Before Kankri could put another word in edgewise about their recent slew of misdemeanors both committed and intended, there was a sudden thud as the door behind them swung closed. He shrieked and all but leapt into Damara's arms as he turned, spotting a figure looming behind the door, hidden from their view until it closed.

" _Jesus fucking Christ!_ "

Damara whirled and turned her flashlight on the figure, eyes wide as dinner plates. Kankri gripped her arm, terrified  of what they might see. Was it some sort of statue? Maybe a robber? Heaven forbid it be an actual ghost--

A brace-faced, curly-haired ginger with a devilish grin peered back at them.

"Mituna!" Kankri all but howled as Mituna clutched his stomach, falling into a fit of giggles. Kankri batted at his shoulder repeatedly, his face flushed with embarrassment. "That's not funny!"

"It is a little funny." Damara bit her lip, trying not to smile, as Mituna wheezed with laughter. Kankri glared at her.

"Don't you start too!"

Damara put her hands up in surrender and looked away, not saying another word. Mituna had to cough to stop himself from laughing before he ran out of breath, clutching his stomach with one hand and wiping tears with the other. "Whew," He said, panting. "Oh, my god. That was great. You should've seen your face, Kanny. You looked like you were about to shit yourself."

Kankri's lips pursed and his eyes narrowed. Mituna crooned, still trying to hold back giggles, and wrapped an arm around Kankri's waist.

"Cmonnnn, Kanny. You can't stay mad at me forever. You _looooooove_ me."

It was somewhere between the third and fourth peck to his lips that Kankri relented. He huffed, pressing the tiniest peck to the corner of Mituna's lips and the ginger pulled back and cheered. Kankri folded his arms and scowled  sternly at the floor. If only looks could kill, the whole house would probably come down around them.

Damara cleared her throat delicately. "If you two are done," She said. "We have a thing to do?"

"Right!" Mituna launched himself at her side, wrapping one arm firmly around her waist and all but dragging her towards the stairs. Instead of fighting with his energy, Damara rolled her eyes and went with it, producing a joint from somewhere in her cleavage and lighting it up. Kankri wrinkled his nose.

"You know," He said, following along. "This house is well over three hundred years old. I sincerely doubt the caretakers would want to add smoke damage to the list of things that hurts its property value. Besides--"

"It's just a joint, Kankri. Relax." Damara was fondling Mituna's backside gratuitously with one hand and tipping ashes onto the staircase carpet with the other. "There's going to be more smoke damage from the candles in the library than this one measly joint can let off."

And that's another thing, Kankri wanted to add, but Mituna and Damara were already speeding up over the stairs and he really didn't want to get left behind. This place was spooky enough when the three of them stuck together, he'd hate to experience it alone. He all but ran up the staircase to catch up with them, clutching the straps of his backpack the whole time as if they would somehow save him.

For as large as the house was, finding the library was easy enough. The massive double oak doors that had 'LIBRARY' engraved into a gold plaque were a decent enough hint. Mituna pushed one door open, Kankri the other, and Damara strode in looking glassy-eyed and giggly. Maybe it was the weed, or maybe just the excitement of what they were about to do, but she was positively bouncing in her school uniform at the sight of the grandiose three-floored library. Her face split into a wide grin.

"That's a lot of books," Mituna remarked.

"Yes, it is," Kankri said pointedly. "It would be a shame for such a collection to be ruined."

Damara groaned. "Come on, Kankri, you wouldn't be here if you weren't at least curious about the ritual. Now come on, we only have from midnight until three AM to get everything set up."

Kankri wanted to argue but she had a point. He didn't believe in spirits and demons, per se, but when she'd come to him with a dusty old book in her hands - borrowed from Rose, of course - that said that this house was on a perfect ley line, well. He couldn't just not see if this sort of nonsense held any truth to it.

Mostly, though, he was here to say _'I told you so'_ when it didn't work.

"What time is it?" Damara held her hand out for the backpack that Kankri was carrying, which he handed off all too eagerly. Mituna grabbed his phone as she began to set the candles right in front of the fireplace.

"It's eleven forty-nine."

"Shit." Damara put out her joint in the fireplace and began to draw chalk marks on the floor around the candles,  only half of which Kankri understood or could even decipher. With the ease that Damara wrote them, however, he knew she'd been practising. He helped Mituna push the armchairs and end tables out of the way as she drew more and more, the lines growing more and more intricate as she went along. Kankri couldn't figure out what any of it meant anymore.

Soon the 'circle' - in name only - filled a good six feet of floor space all around. There was something strange about the lines, something that made Kankri's skin crawl. One look at Mituna said that he felt it, too. Damara however seemed to be in a trance, focusing only on the drawing.

Finally, it was done. Damara carefully stepped back so as not to ruin the lines. "Hold out your hands." She commanded, thrusting out her own with her palm up. "Into the middle of the circle, like this."

Mituna did so instantly and without regret; Kankri, much more reluctantly.

"Why are we - _ow_!"

The knife came out of nowhere, slashing across Kankri's hand before he can even finish the question. Into the center of the design dripped three thick drops of blood, welling up from the center of his palm. A hiss of pain from his left and three more drops joining his in the circle told him that Damara had slashed Mituna's hand open, as well.

"What the hell, that hurt!" Mituna scowled in annoyance, clenching his hand tightly to stop the bleeding. Damara paid him no mind, holding out her own palm and wincing as the blade bit through her skin. "Damara!"

"You'll be fine, it's just a cut," Damara said through strained teeth - because as much as it was 'just a cut', it still fucking hurt. "Don't you want this to work?"

Mituna grumbled something along the lines of 'whatever' and 'fuck you'. "I thought this was just going to be chanting some silly words or something."

"As if that actually works." Damara pulled out what looked like a red candle and began to melt it over the bloodstains. It...sizzled. _Wax shouldn't sizzle_ , Kankri thought to himself, but didn't say anything. "Sit."

They did.

Damara bade them join hands.

They did.

Kankri winced at the feeling of Mituna's sweaty palm against his cut hand but said nothing. He was well and truly past the point of saying anything, in all honesty. His blood was drawn, he was sitting in the middle of a fucking summoning circle - only the heavens knew what was about to happen, honestly, because he had no clue. Judging by the shudder going down his spine, though, it was something bad.

Damara opened her mouth and out poured a strange, thick language that wasn't quite Latin or Greek, but a strange mixture of them both. Mituna and Kankri exchanged worried looks. She had to have practised this, right? There was no way in hell she just.... _knew_ this.

And yet, in the back of both of their minds they somehow felt a strange tug, like they too knew the words without being taught.

Mituna was the second one to join in. His voice was a low, mumbling hum compared to Damara's bell-clear tones. Kankri looked at him with an expression of pure betrayal, but soon enough found his own voice joining in without his permission. Damara squeezed his hand, looking at him, and all Kankri could do in return was cast her a worried and angry glare.

They were about twenty minutes into the strange chanting when something finally began to happen.

Kankri didn't think it would last this long, nor had he any clue how long it actually lasted But somewhere at the twenty minute mark he felt his head begin to fog, not unlike when Damara had him smoke a joint for the first time. The room spun and he began to sway, tugging Mituna's and Damara's hands with his in time to the now rhythmic chanting. It all sounded like mush in his ears, his own tongue thick and heavy in his mouth. Even if he wanted to stop at this point, he couldn't, compelled by the rhythm of the words pouring from their collective mouths.

Then, just as sudden as it started, it stopped. Kankri's head was relatively clear again. He shook his head, groaning and feeling like he'd been stuffed with cotton. Glancing around, it seemed like Damara and Mituna were feeling the effects too. They broke the grip they had on one another and Kankri rubbed his temples to evade the feeling of an oncoming migraine.

The sound of something making a loud _clunk_ on the hardwood made him freeze.

Nothing should be _clunk_ ing.

Slowly Kankri opened one eye. His whole face went white.

In front of them stood a massive creature. Easily ten feet tall, with four long horns that scraped even further inches to its height, it loomed over them with a glare in its red and blue eyes. It was bare naked. Kankri tried not to look downwards, but the animal feet lured his attention, the curling fur of its cloven hooves and legs a strange off-yellowish colour.

_Huh._ Kankri found himself thinking despite himself. _I thought demons were red._

The demon snorted, opening its fanged mouth, licking its lips with an oddly serpentine tongue at the three gawking teenagers. Despite himself Kankri couldn't help but think that it was pretty, with its freckled, mottled grey skin, high cheekbones and almond-shaped eyes. Its hands, while clawed, were thin and delicate like a piano player's. It was a leanly muscled creature, and it was strange, but Kankri couldn't help but be reminded of Mituna a little bit. It narrowed its eyes down at the three of them.

"That's hot." Damara murmured beside him. "It likes you, Kanny."

"That's...nice," He said uncertainly. He glanced over at Damara, who was kneeling up and taking off her shirt. "Wh - wait, hold on a moment here! What are you doing?!"

"What does it look like? You can't just summon a demon and not fuck it." Damara rolled her eyes. Mituna seemed to be getting the idea as well, and had begun to unbutton his pants. The demon, stuck in the middle of them, wiggled its little goat tail in obvious glee. "See, look! He likes it. Come on, Kanny. Join the party."

Kankri sat back and rubbed his face with both hands.

"We should have just gone trick or treating." He grumbled.

 


End file.
